Art for fokkin creative minds.
Denial:
Sometimes, when I think about the person I’ve grown to be. I often contemplate and mourn the person I could’ve been and constantly have pushed her down since high school due to many complications involving acceptance which can only be the last stage in which we mention.
In a way, I feel like my worth as a person has only decreased in the sense that I seek purpose in a world that drags you around because the Earth doesn’t stop for anybody. Even babies experience changes and adapt to circumstances regardless of situations beyond them.
I feel like I’m one of those people who must be kicked a couple of times to understand that something is bad for me, or I must endure the hot stove’s heat a bit more to understand it is harmful.
It is almost instinct for us as humans to pull away from situations that harm us, but I struggle to grasp that instinct of ending things even when they harm me. I have a child-like wonder that makes me believe everyone deserves to be helped, loved, and adored through anything they may go through.
Not all humans are as loving, though, I learned through my high school years as a quiet kid, how ruthless people can be. I chose not to socialize as much with my peers and had a few close friends along the way, but I couldn’t stand the deceit or forgery.
M
any of the people around me only seemed to tolerate each other, and many close friendships faltered in secret. It was almost as if my ears would listen to their conversations as they discussed their dislikes for one another and then proceeded to smile and hang out with one another afterward.
It made me sick to the stomach at the thought of what they might have thought about me. I was often mocked for a lot of reasons, and many of the people around me were pleased to see I didn’t put up a fight, but my close friends defended me most of the time.
Although my antisocial mannerism had gotten me no close relationships with my peers, my growing anticipation for a boyfriend often pushed me to the forefront due to my peer group’s curiosity about love and experience. I often rejected most boys due to my focus on education and growth to succeed, but I am rushing back and forth between the present and past times.
I have always had an imaginative view of what relationships may be. In my experience leading up to my twenties, I’ve grown to view human interactions to be subtle explosions between passionate seduction and a lover’s need to be known.
Sometimes, when I think about the person I’ve grown to be. I often contemplate and mourn the person I could’ve been and constantly have pushed her down since high school due to many complications involving acceptance which can only be the last stage in which we mention.
In a way, I feel like my worth as a person has only decreased in the sense that I seek purpose in a world that drags you around because the Earth doesn’t stop for anybody. Even babies experience changes and adapt to circumstances regardless of situations beyond them.
I feel like I’m one of those people who must be kicked a couple of times to understand that something is bad for me, or I must endure the hot stove’s heat a bit more to understand it is harmful.
It is almost instinct for us as humans to pull away from situations that harm us, but I struggle to grasp that instinct of ending things even when they harm me. I have a child-like wonder that makes me believe everyone deserves to be helped, loved, and adored through anything they may go through.
Not all humans are as loving, though, I learned through my high school years as a quiet kid, how ruthless people can be. I chose not to socialize as much with my peers and had a few close friends along the way, but I couldn’t stand the deceit or forgery.
M
any of the people around me only seemed to tolerate each other, and many close friendships faltered in secret. It was almost as if my ears would listen to their conversations as they discussed their dislikes for one another and then proceeded to smile and hang out with one another afterward.
It made me sick to the stomach at the thought of what they might have thought about me. I was often mocked for a lot of reasons, and many of the people around me were pleased to see I didn’t put up a fight, but my close friends defended me most of the time.
Although my antisocial mannerism had gotten me no close relationships with my peers, my growing anticipation for a boyfriend often pushed me to the forefront due to my peer group’s curiosity about love and experience. I often rejected most boys due to my focus on education and growth to succeed, but I am rushing back and forth between the present and past times.
I have always had an imaginative view of what relationships may be. In my experience leading up to my twenties, I’ve grown to view human interactions to be subtle explosions between passionate seduction and a lover’s need to be known.
Pain turned into beauty
-J. Ming-Fok
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